Why a Big Purse Can Cramp Your Style...

Mishap #4

Okay, men. This may not be very interesting to you because I'm going to write about purses. That's right. Those mysterious items that women carry around that men are afraid to touch, to carry, to reach into... YIKES!! WHAT WAS THAT?!! THERE'S SOMETHING SLIMY IN THERE!!

Then again, reading about a woman's purse habits could be fascinating to you, the way Jane Goodall might feel watching the gathering habits of the Silverback Gorilla... Or, you could be one of those European types that carries a "man purse." (To each his own, I say.)

Anyway, for those of us single moms, harried moms, or just plain disorganized women (or men) the world over, here's my advice to keep at least one part of your life a tad more sane: DO NOT CARRY A LARGE PURSE.

"WHAT?" you say. "If you are busy and have lots of things to do, wouldn't it be the reverse? Shouldn't it be the BIGGER, the BETTER?!!" (Some of the men are getting interested again). When it comes to purses, bigger is NOT better for the perpetually scatterbrained.

Why Your Big Purse is a Big Disaster

Unless you are Mary Poppins ("practically perfect in every way") and can extract bedroom furniture from your carpet bag with ease, your BIG PURSE has probably become a BIG BLACK HOLE for all things unholy and forgotten.

(If you ARE like Mary Poppins, you shouldn't be reading this, you should be doing something helpful like teaching children how to talk to penguins.)

First Step: Take an Iventory of Your Portable Black Hole


WHAT is in your big purse?? Look inside it now, and be honest.

My mother is a die-hard large purse carrier, and I would bet money that in her purse right now there are: candy wrappers, mints, used tissues, a ridiculous number of lipstick tubes, multiple coupons and offers, half of her makeup collection, some cheese crackers, an entire manicure kit, a brush, a mini pad, maybe five writing pens, some eye glasses, slips of paper with random phone numbers, and four hair implements (a couple of scrunchies and a large clip).

But the apple does not far far from the tree, as the saying goes. Before I reformed myself and bought a cute and efficient small bag, things could get quite dangerous in my large purse. There were: barretts, forgotten lipstick tubes, pens and pencils, cub scout badges, loose change, nail polish, CDs, feminine products, children's toys, two checkbooks, bills, sewing needles (OUCH), and some camping items (a compass, a thermometer).

Gerta Has Better Things to do Than to Repair Your Purse

It was a lined leather purse, and the satin lining had ripped (along with one of the inside pockets), due to the presence of sharp objects (pens, needles, the cuticle tool). Things would slip between the lining and the leather, and make it more difficult for me to retrieve them. I once took it to Gerta, our town seamstress, and she sewed half of the purse and missed the lining on the other side. To be fair, she was doing me a favor at the last minute and really just wanted to hop on her motorcycle and begin her half day of freedom.

The point being: With a smallish purse, I now KNOW what is in there!! There is a finite amount of space in a small purse, and you have to clean it out frequently. There is no hiding items in a small purse. They can be flushed out and dealt with. You must pick and choose what you put in your small purse. No throwing in your lunch at the last minute, no toting around a magazine that you may or may not read.

Valuable Lesson Learned: When it comes to purses, bigger is NOT better for the perpetually scatterbrained. In a smallish purse, your electric bill and slips of notes keep popping up like bad pennies. You will be forced to deal with your issues. Reform yourself, and go get a smaller purse. You will feel together and sophisticated, and you won't have your electricity cut off.

Purse pictured above by Rosie Ro. Too big for me, but cute.