Mishap #3
After recently getting dumped by my long-distance military boyfriend, I decided to venture back into the online dating jungle. For the uninitiated, this is a process of weeding through bios and interesting photos. Some people are wearing dark sunglasses. Some are smiling, their arms wrapped around what could be a former girlfriend/spouse (cropped out). Some show the guy standing is his hallway, shirtless.
Now I certainly have my quirks. But successful pairing is a matter of matching someone whose quirks complement your quirks. Or so I believe.
Then again, I'm single.
I've gone on several dates now, and none with people deliberately posed shirtless (on the beach is a different thing entirely). But I have encountered a few mishaps... haven't we all? On my very first date, for instance, my date suggested (despite my subtle discouragement) that we do a co-kid date.
Flashback
I once went on a date (first and last) to Chuck E. Cheese. This is not recommended for so many reasons. On that date, the man's 3-year-old daughter wanted him all to herself, so he placated her by sitting with her at a different table from ours. Then he kept saying things like, "Isn't she so cute?" But I digress.
Ho Ho Ho... ouch!!
On this date, the man suggested we go to a park. Not a bad idea really... in theory... It probably could have been a little more romantic if the annual town Christmas parade wasn't taking place right there at the time. Neither of us knew this, and the place was packed with children, volunteers handing out hot dogs and cookies, and orchestra members warming up. Not to mention the fire truck with Santa rolling down the street.
After my date arrived (having gotten caught in the traffic jam through town), we did have a little time to talk on a bench (the other lady made room for us). Not 20 min. into our slightly disjointed conversation ("Don't climb up the slide!!"), his six-year-old son ("Stay where I can see you!") fell and hurt his lip pretty badly. It bled... it swelled. He cried.
A very nice lady found us some ice. He sat on Dad's lap. And then he stayed there, poor little guy, for the rest of the time. I don't blame him. He probably needed some Ibuprofen. He needed his dad. We tried to talk, but it was clear his son was miserable and wanted to go home.
We did meet one more time, without kids, but then we ended up talking about exes... also a road fraught with mishaps and hazards. We both knew, I think, that the mojo just wasn't there. We parted, a little defeated maybe, but also hopeful that there was someone out there who might match up with our quirks... and leave their kids with a babysitter next time.
Valuable Lesson Learned: First dates are for grownups. Also: "Chuck E. Cheese" and "date" should never be uttered in a sentence together.
6 comments:
As a former single Dad, I enjoyed these stories, because I also had some unusual first (and last) dates. Once, in meeting a first date, I suggested a cafe near her home to insure privacy for us both, in case of no interest. I was greeted by a somewhat pretty, but very drunk young lady carrying a new born and a large suitcase, ready to move in with a stranger. I encouraged her to order a large meal. As she was hungrily wolfing down her steak, I excused myself for the restroom, gave the waitress a $50 bill, and made my escape through the kitchen to the surprise of the chef and helpers. Whew! Close call.......
Sheesh! Dating is complicated enough without adding to the confusion! Co-kid first dates should rank up there in the top 10 bad ideas!
Christine, love the story. Maybe you should pitch these to use as your free lance stuff - a lot more fun. Oh what I have to look forward to, huh?
Brilliant! Funny! I agree with Maddy.
Dating with kids involved is not for the faint of heart!
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