Super Mario Fiasco

Mishap #1

A few weeks ago, my boys, inspired by the plot of the Nintendo game Super Mario Sunshine, decided to recreate part of the action in their own neighborhood. Sounds harmless enough, yes? Just a simple game of pretend perhaps.

In Super Mario Sunshine, Mario has been falsely accused of spreading "sludge" or "goo" all over the tropical paradise town of Isle Delphino. I didn't know this, because I don't play this game. I know this now.

"Sidewalk Paint" vs. Paint on the Sidewalk...

Son X (age 9) came to me early in the morning on the fateful day, asking to use all of the rest of a bottle of cleaner because he wanted to fill it with some sort of concoction (glue? dye? I hadn't had an entire cup of coffee yet...) to spread around "outside." This was met with a decidedly negative response. He mentioned paint -- I mentioned the word NO several times. I talked about the severity of defacing property, and how hard it can be to clean concrete.

I then remembered that we had a bottle of something called "sidewalk paint." It was water soluble. Perfect! Problem solved. "Use the sidewalk paint," I said. "No, you CAN'T put it on the SIDE of the house," I said. "It's SIDEWALK paint; it goes on sidewalk."

We had an understanding. So I thought. I went back to my task of the hour -- whatever it was -- I don't remember now. Maybe folding clothes, maybe writing an email.

Dabbling in the Dark Side...

They used the pink sidewalk paint, son X and little brother-sidekick son Y. Then they decided to try something else: the small can of exterior trim in the garage. Like Dark Mario, the real perpetrator in Super Mario Sunshine, the young punks decided to spread their "paint-like goo" all over the sidewalk, our driveway, neighbors' driveways, even on some of the neighborhood park equipment -- which desperately needed to be replaced, but was still graffiti-free up until now. It was off-white paint, thankfully, but it didn't match the concrete white. At some point in my homebody reverie, son Y fessed up to the crime down the street...all down the street. "Son X told me to do it!!" he tried as an excuse.

Graffiti Artists Learn Crime Doesn't Pay...

I dragged the perpetrators to Home Depot. Unfortunately, at Home Depot, there were no "Floods" (the mechanical hero of the Mario game which tidily cleans up the "paint-like goo") on sale. I consulted with the paint department staff, who suggested a large bottle of "Crud Kutter" and a large wire brush.

I ran into a middle-aged couple I knew, who laughed at my predicament. Their kids were grown.

Back home, we mixed the Crud Kutter with water. We sprayed it in the most critical areas: neighbors' driveways. We scrubbed, we rinsed (with a giant tub of water I transported down the street in the back of my van). We scrubbed and scrubbed and rinsed and scrubbed. We got some of the mildew off of the sidewalks and some of the paint. A neighbor girl (who had nothing better to do) helped us. Most of the neighbors were gone, doing last-minute Christmas shopping and Christmas events on a Sunday afternoon. Most of the evidence is still there. It was likely oil-based.

We told some neighbors. We could have told more... I wondered if the Home Owners' Association would fine me for this. I took the boys' games away for a week. I talked about vandalism and scared them with threats of the law and police. I told them I could get in big trouble for their misdeeds. Guilt is always a good tactic in cases like this.

Valuable Lesson Learned: Put the paint OUT OF REACH and emphasize the severity of vandalism.

Hurry to Sleep Now, Your DS Will Keep Now…

Here’s a thought: People have long used media of one kind or another to lull themselves to sleep. In the past, the entertainment media of choice were books, radio and TV.

As I sit here in bed with my laptop literally in my lap, I wonder if the choice of medium will change again. Laptops are a little clunky to sleep with though.

I’m sure people have been putting themselves to sleep with a good book (or a dull book, depending on your level of insomnia) for centuries. In early America, I’m sure that book was mainly the Bible. Later, a variety of books, newspapers and magazines were readily available.

In the 20^th century, we added pulp fiction, comics and magazines of all types to this. (I picture the kid hiding under the covers with a flashlight and his favorite space alien comic.) Lately, I’ve been reading “The Elephants of Style” (a stylebook for writers and editors) just before I doze off. I’m not sure if I’m retaining any of the lessons in there, but it’s a good sleep aid for some reason. (And not to say that it’s dull either – it’s actually quite funny for a stylebook.)

I also favor trashy women’s magazines and crossword puzzles. Crossword puzzles almost always put me to sleep if I do them in bed.

When radio became a popular in-home entertainment media appliance, I’m sure people put themselves to sleep listening to their favorite radio programs or popular music. We’ve all seen images of families gathered around a refrigerator-sized radio, listening to news, music and radio dramas at night.

When I was a little girl and I stayed with my grandparents, I have sweet memories of falling asleep next to my grandfather, listening to baseball games on a.m. radio. I also remember a sleep-over at a friend’s house, hearing music and radio noise all night long. She couldn’t sleep without it.

Live music is another option. We know moms and dads having been singing lullabies to their kids for centuries.

And then there’s TV. Was it about 30 years ago or so that people started putting TVs in their bedrooms? I’m sure Johnny Carson, Jay Leno and David Letterman have put countless numbers of people to sleep – no offense to them.

Entertainment media is just that – entertainment. It’s an escape from reality, from our routine of chores and responsibilities. It helps us wind down… and it becomes habit forming, which helps us get in the zone for sleep.

Personally, I find sleeping with TV and radio intrusive and jarring, but that’s me. Now that we’re well into the digital age, I wonder how many couples are checking and programming their PDAs on either side of the bed before dozing off to sleep. Or how many bloggers do what I just did and blog in bed. Who knows, maybe they’ll even create a sleep-inducing video game… something with sheep that gets slower… and slower….